Christmas Highlights:

my dad catching my mother smoke a cigarette outside on christmas morning and then sharing that information with the rest of the family

my dad trying to convince me that I need to dabble in the book-mobile business

this conversation during breakfast:

older sister (to father's girlfriend): did you see the fireman calendar my mom got?
father's girlfriend: no! where?
14 year old cousin: who got her that calendar anyway?
older sister: your grandma

passing the fireman calendar around the gift opening circle

teaching alicia (8 yr old cousin) to knit

older sister receiving a deck of r-rated playing cards in gift exchange christmas eve

older sister re-wrapping tainted cards for uncle marty

driving 1.5 hours to pick up grandpa and take him to christmas dinner only to have him tell me upon arriving at my aunt's that he decided he was just going to wait in the car

praying in a huddle at the beach with lacey and jessica

working chrismas eve with kelsey and making about 3,000 kids hot chocolates, whip cream art, and listening to children explain to me that Santa was watching as we were speaking

cari and sharon's ten minute mall trip: no eye contact as to avoid any possible awkward situations with people we knew years ago, and navigating reflexes beyond compare

my mother watching the japanese equivalent of MTV

my mother watching the indian equivalent of MTV

bribing 12 year old sister to wear aunt's vintage red-velvet body suit in public

mom justifying her 5 cigarettes a year by pointing out that it's not pot she's smoking

sister's fiance's mother yelling from other room to my mother "Pot! hold on i've got some Christine!)

the familiar and oddly comforting sight of my aunt's and uncles lined up along the garage smoking and laughing hysterically

coming home to find roomates having a craft extravaganza

discovering that roomates are painting bongs with glass paint at craft extravaganza

my God-loving side of the family explaining to me that i'm demonic for enjoying Lord of the Rings---biting my tongue....biting my tongue

driving long distances with 12 year old sister while singing with Simon and Garfunkel

sabotaging the cinnamon rolls christmas morning (the only kitchen responsibility i had)