Who am I?

I can't begin to describe the weirdness of being me these last few months. I had this plan that after graduation I would work until September as a Barista, try to find a low key accounting job where I would have time to study for the C.P.A. exam, but gain experience. Well, things changed when I got offered a position at the #2 company on my list.

Now I find myself a few feet away from the C.F.O. of a global company, interacting daily with middle aged men who are far more confident and accomplished than myself. I EXPLAIN things to people who are older then me? WHAT? It's all...just...unnatural. People make decisions based on things I prepare? I am always amused by the way people respond to me via email vs. in person or over the phone. I think they are absolutely shocked when they find out I have the tone of a 12 year old girl, that my hair is frizzy, and I smile a lot. Sometimes I feel undermined, but most of the time I just laugh. It's unexpected, you can't blame them.

You can imagine, i'm struggling with what is seemingly important, and what is not. Part of me is so worried that I will get swept away by work and promotion and money and feeling "important". But I suppose the fact that I am actual worried about that means it won't happen? So why am I even working toward that then? Shouldn't I be doing something bohemian like writing or baking or owning a traveling coffee cart? I dont' know. All I know is i'm here for some unknown reason.

I'm not complaining, it's a great job, with unbelievable perks, an awesome manager, great coworkers, every other Friday off, I make my own hours, and...well...a very nice paycheck.

This is what I do know, who I am at this moment:

-Lover of keyboard shortcuts, color coding in Excel, and Excel formulas.
-Owner of a dated cell phone.
-Proud and dedicated/obsessed cat owner.
-Amateur chef, aspiring to be a smaller version of Tom Douglas to my own family.
-Spender of discretionary money on Shoes.
-Cherisher of time spent working out, having good conversation, and doing absolutely nothing.
-Dreamer/planner of future travels and owning my own business.
-Wonderer of what it is I do that really matters?
-Drinker of green tea, water, hard cider and wine.
-Wife of a guy who is always kind, patient, loving, affectionate, and better than me.
-I guessing i'm just a person, trying to figure it out, and going through that stage where you reach your goals and ask yourself, now what?