my current coffee shop's competition has offered me a job for the second time now. their offer is my choice of how many and what hours i want and a pay raise. oy. this is tough. this is also very comical. i'm a barista for pete's sake. my skills include getting up at the crack, interacting, talking while making killer foam, timing shots, and measuring flavors. why these people need me so desperately to do this at their shop i am still wondering. i have been fantisizing that they may have mafia affiliations and are going to murder me if don't share with them all of my top secret espresso knowledge, maybe we're screwing the system with our senior discounts, i don't know! ask pete.

so i'm a snake and am seriously thinking about switching over. more money and whatever hours i want to work?!!! sheesh. but then...there's all those moment's in my day that i love so much: the breathe of saltwater as i put out the chairs, senior citizens' repetitious stories, repititious jokes, and their fear of me not giving them their 10% discount. There's the bud vases that look like bongs hanging from the ceiling, sweeping the sand up after a big rush, the little kids with icecream mustaches dancing to the music, the walkers, the duck feeders, the scuba divers, the ferry drivers, the train conducters, the busdrivers, the bartenders at Rory's, all of the jehovah's witnesses, the people at Sahib who try to teach me spanish and indian thinking i won't confuse the two. The difference between Waterfront and the Red Twig is, without a doubt, character. I need character. Thoughts of spending my days wearing all black, in a modern, sterile, silver coffeeshop does not float well. Plus, i want to get out of the coffee scheme alltogether hopefully soon, unless I can find a shop on Capitol Hill close to school. What's a girl to do?
I ran into Chad last night at Barnes and Noble and we created a new career: "Teacher's with Wings". Teach throughout the school year, fly during the summer, spend time in various countries, maybe teach in different countries, teacher's would improve their ability to teach multiculturally, perhaps be more passionate about issues around the world, be more apt. to acquire other languages, overall teachers would have a bigger worldview from which to teach. But then that caused us to fantasize(i'm liking this word tonight) about what would happen if flight attending was a volunteer job? At first we thought it might be cool, thinking about how it could benefit us, but then the thought of people not motivated by money doing something was scary and those last 9 words are even scarier to me. yuck. speaking of money and let me add that a lot of you know I have been getting over my fear of "people pleasing" and confrontation, and through this have become more straightforward (ask me about the real estate agents in a starbucks that decided to lighten up their conversation by taking stabs at homeless people). Anyway it was a beautiful day today, puget sound, mount baker, the olympic mountains, sunshine, phenomenal, so anyway by 1:00 i'd probably been asked 46 times "why i was working on a day like this", so now it's one and i'm itching to get off work only so i can study before class so that ultimately i can make more money doing something different and though my profession eventually may be something I am interested in and passionate about is that really why i'll do it? anyway, all this to say that to my surprise around one, after being asked the question I blurted, almost rudely, "because this is a capitalist society" and elaborated on the matter. Who is this girl? I am not usually this honest. It kinda frightens me. I'm glad i'm less wishy washy and passive, but i just don't want to become a hard bitten old cynic.

if anyone wants to go see "Hotel Rwanda", "Ray" or "Motorcycle Diaries" or "The Aviator" with me, I am now accepting resumes.Probably next weekend though. Cari is my valentine. Kiersten and I have established a new aspect to our relationship based solely on a passion for "live music". I still adore Graham: his glasses, his awkwardness, his caramel machiatos, his waiting for me after class,our conversations about "Built to Spill" and "They Might be Giants", his very unmanly voice, waaaaaahhhhh. But really, to be honest, i know what i hope he is, not who he truly is. A couple really "great" guys asked me out and of course i'm appalled: they're kind, christian, decent looking, productive, drug-free, successful, motivated guys and my screwed up little head thinks this is awful. In the words of Cari "There it is" I will never be attracted to an allaround good guy, there must be something off about him, something that people when I introduce them to him think "why?". One of the greatest moments in highschool was Eric Applesand telling me : "i just don't see why you like the guys you do". aaaaaahhhh , beautiful words Eric, thank you. You couldn't have said it better. The question remains, will I ever know what a date is like again? Who cares. How does it go? "Adieu to dissapointment and spleen, what are men to rocks and mountains?"....(for now that is....i still reeeeally want to procreate and play house with a boy).

And by the way, I haven't posted anything on this matter for a while, but.....our creator, our friend, is lovely. ...i like jesus!