In short...
much is rearranging itself inside my head. events are resonating. people's words are echoing. i am finding it hard to disregard anything. confronted with hypocricy. confronted with ignorance. confronted with truth. confronted with everyone who has been "otherized". my core is being shaken. with all of this diaglogue i am being challenged. i am grateful for that which causes me to grow. i fear it, but i do not wish it to end.

The run-down....

New reading: GUNS, GERMS AND STEEL by Jared Diamond
SAVAGE INEQUALITIES by Jonathan Kozol
ANIMAL DREAMS by Barbara Kingsolver

Music: Cat Power (new for me)
The Promise Ring
Cat Stevens (classic)
OAR (Anytime Now disc 2) favorite
United Front (SKWACK! hahah)

Greatest Moment of the last week: learning that Craig Likkel (Kiersten's Pappy) reads my blog !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Shout out to Mickey!
And Craig, I think it's only fitting that you create your own Blog: "The Man inside the Actuary"
New People I want to be when I grow up: Stewart Hall and Bell Hooks
New Conflict: what to do with the ticket to Europe?
School: am now an official writer for The City Collegian, well actually as of this coming April
.....and am enrolled in an acting class---really excited about this!
Sadness: one year ago exactly I was on my way to Scotland. am missing toffee cake. missing pub culture. missing rugby weekends. missing living in the moment. missing skye and it's never-never landness. missing only two pairs of pants and 5 shirts to choose from. missing walking everywhere-(which reminds me to mention that i have become very hostile towards dependence on motorized vehicles). missing strangers. busrides and drinks and dinners and walks and movies and scrabble and marshamallows with strangers.

everyday I conclude that the worst case scenario would be for me to get married, root myself in a secure job, settle down, maintain other sets of friends who are doing the same thing, perfect my social life, and pretend I am certain about everything I do. And then I consider where the road I'm on right now is leading me?

Inside I am all noise. But I fear the effect of things I might say. Mostly I fear offending them. I seldom fear the judgement of them, but I acknowledge that the fear is real. Why am I either bursting or numb? Never just fine.