my most fascinating, thought-provoking, imaginative boyfriend has presented me with two questions, which after having shared with him I shall share with the bloggers:

question 1: paint a picture of your life for me, who you want to become (which may overlap with who you are now)

question 2: why are you a christian? * not how you came to be a christian...why....

here is answer 1:

my greatest dreams are not found in an achievment, career, goal or rung on a ladder. my greatest hope for my existence is tucked away in a particular way of life I have been growing towards since day 1 (january 28th, 1984). This way of life reflects the peace of September's morning fog, the 46 colors found in a sunset over the sea, the love of a gracious God and the beauty of a butterfly resting on a raindrop-frosted rose. My desire is not to succeed, but to live. For me success is not synonymous with fullfillment.

If...If I could live simply. If the morning would allow me a still walk through some sunlit forest or perhaps along the spine that connects sea and land, I could have peace. If I could delight in a candlelit breakfast of rye-toast, fruit, a cup of tea, a psalm and a proverb, I could be refreshed. If I could have enough time to spare for a late afternoon trip to a market for fresh herbs and whole foods for dinner, the beginning of my day's end would be romantic. If I could listen to Portugese music, sip wine, and dance while cooking dinner, discreetly dipping my fingers in whatever boiled upon my stove, I would feel beautiful. If I could plant apple, apricot, cherry, lemon and pear trees, I could always smile. If I could grow, tend to and create a fabled garden; full of fragrant blossoms, colorful annuals , climbers, flowers attractive to butterflies and birds, berry-filled bushes, birdbaths, brickpaths and trees meant for reading under, I might feel accomplished. If...

I want to burn candles, collect seashells and press flowers . I want to be madly in love, spontaneous, irrational, reflective and always imperfect. I want to try many things: failing and succeeding. I want to write, read, cook, learn, play the piano and violin, paint, dance, daydream, travel, cry, laugh, whisper, enjoy conversation, experience, sit on rocks, ride trains, and save scraps of fabric for quilts i might never make. I want to exercise my sense until they are gone...see light and colors until i am blind, eavesdrop and drown in music until all the tiny hairs in my ears have dissappeared, smell as if my survival depended on it, taste until i have no tongue.

I cannot allow myself to become ordinary or pragmatic. I cannot settle for repetitive days of security. I crave adventure! risk! mystery! uncertainty! PASSION! I pray that every ounce of my life would reflect that rich and delicate beauty that is so often hidden or unnoticed. I would like to wear handmade dresses; have long ,dark, swirling hair, ink-stained fingertips, soiled feet (from wearing out the earth). When it comes to appearance, what i hope is that i look as though i am full of life: radiating a wonder for creation and appreaction for beauty that does not fade.

I hope that I am always fanciful; that story and imagination never leave my heart. I want to value the stories of those surrounding me, my own story and the stories that have not yet been written. I hope I will always expand my imagination and never abandon those non-existent colors living inside my brain.

I must continue to visit the sea when i should be sleeping...to climb trees at midnight and play games with the stars. I must write, even when the words are distant...remaining loyal to and recording the gentle voice which whispers life to me throughout my days. I must respond to creation.

I will never be done learning, but I will be careful to not deisre knowledge as a way to stroke my ego. I will learn continually as an effort to remain in a state of wonder at God.

I want to become less so that more may be accomplished through me. I want kindness, generosity, love, grace and peace to make-up the "anthem of my heart".

But, the most important thing to me, is that I love God and love people. Above all else, I must love....the rest is mere poetry!