i should not be here right now. not in this town, in this second story apartment, rocking in this peeling green chair, gazing into the depths of a stale white machine, attempting to expose my dissatisfaction with my environment. no, i should not be here.
not in these jeans and this cardigan. i should only have one garment, a white dress wrapped around the length of my body and draped over one shoulder. and i should wear that dress while swimming, while picking wild flowers and strolling in the hot morning sun... and underneath the coolness of the moon... always that dress. and i should live along the water where my thoughts would never be in knots. perhaps then i could hear the flowers open and the trees stretch beyond the earth. and i could sleep outside, and the heat of the sunrise would introduce me to morning. i should be there. there, where part of me will always remain.