Here's a conversation about beauty sean and I have been having:

sean...thanks for sharing your thoughts on beauty with me. i agree with you that people become caught up in what society deems beautiful (myself included :) ) and overemphasize it. this makes me excited to get to heaven? what do you think we will look like? will we even have physical bodies? so much mystery! oh how i love it! anywho, here are my thoughts, kind of lenghty, slightly unorganized, slightly undeveloped, but thoughts nonetheless...
does every person struggle with beauty? with wanting to be beautiful, striving for it, and misunderstanding it? i'm sure i do. i wish this were not so.

i wonder if our world's idea of beauty is skewed because we have pigeonholed it? I suppose I cannot accurately comment on societies other than that which I belong to. Also, being a woman, I cannot speak on behalf of men's ideals because i am not fully aware of them. But having lived 21 years in America I have seen that there is an ideal for beauty that periodically shifts and as these ideals change, so do the faces of our society. In the 1980's, there was Kate Moss... tall, thin, blonde, barbie doll...90's: Jennifer Aniston...olive complexion, highlighted hair, a little more thickness than Kate, but still slender...and Now? i'm not sure...maybe Natalie Portman, there seem to be a lot of Natalie-Portmans around. As a result of a pigeonholing beauty, limiting it to one pants size, one hair color/style, one outfit, trends are born and people resemble one another in an almost frightening way. How many times do I think people in crowds are my friends, because the only thing that looks different between 2 people is what is unchangeable without plastic surgery: the face! I'm sure there are little Sharon's running around too, and this I do not like. We were created uniquely and unique we should be.

I've noticed something that I do not fully understand quite yet, but I think it's an important part to understand the innerworkings of a girls self-confidence (concering physical appearance). If you tell a girl that you think she's beautiful, she will usually smile, appreciate that there are a few people who find her to be pretty and after mediatating on the comment will write it off as a friend attempting to boost her confidence. But, tell a girl she is the spitting image of Natalie Portman, looks exactly like Kate Hudson, that you almost thought she was Penelope Cruz....and you will change her perspective of herself??!! The girl will in many cases (of course this happens more to young girls) will go home, find pictures of the goddess she resembles, compare them with pictures of herself, smile to herself with thoughts that she must look like this to many people and so many people must find her beautiful.The girl is happy. Girl's cling to images of beauty that they can resemble. We all did this when we were little: if you have blonde hair you are Cinderella, Black Hair: snow white or jasmine, depending on your complexion, Brunette: Belle, Red hair: Ariel. I don't think this is entirely bad or wrong, I just think it's a reflection of the mindset of many girls. If a girl can look like the image she can be beautiful. And so from an early age, we examine ourselves and instead of discovering the beauty we posses, we find everything that does not fit the image and we fix it! quickly! Our your eyebrows too thick: pluck em. Do you have tummy rolls? 50 crunches a night! Hair too thin? volumizing shampoo. Too curly? straightener. Do your glasses make you look nerdy? contacts. Are glasses sexy? get fake ones. Skin too pale? tanning booths..and on and on. Now, i'm not saying girls should not groom or primp, girls love to do these things, i like them too and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. However, in many cases grooming gets out of control, so much that it is damaging to person's identity. We all know someone who won't leave the house without make-up. Who'd never be seen in sweats. And i think both are symptoms of a lack of wholeness.

So where is the balance? I don't know. I think a lot of it has to do with the motivation behind a person's physical appearance. Not-so-good motivations would be: for attention, for self-worth, for acceptance, status, to compete. In my opinion, the aforementioned are dangerous. On the other hand, if you really love dark brown hair and you're blonde, then dye it! If you're fascinated with french culture and fashion and it's an art for you, buy a baret (sp?). If you like green, great! Dangly earrings that remind you of your aunt frances yay! If it reflects your personality, you're golden. I think the most depressing part of being american is that we are not required to think that often. We have so many "things" for us to like being shoved in our faces that we do not often take the time to discover what really resonates within us. As a result we are a people often acting without passion and without reason. So we should do dress and do things because we love them and cherish them and because they reflect authentic beauty. We should search for beauty and discover it as the treasure that it is, and not subscribe to it for 7.99 a month (although if you like Vogue because you truly like style and fashion and use it as a tool to develop your own look then that is simply wonderful:) ).

For myself, i like things that reflect nature. My favorite dress is this long tropical dress that is blue and green that i think is supposed to look like a tropical sea of some sort. I like wearing clothing with flowers. Or delicate, sparkly clothing that reminds me of the stars. I like wearing my hair long, dark and wavy, adding to my Scottish characteristics. I like anything that makes me look like a fairy. I like looking like I stepped out of a different time in history. I love vintage clothing! Used clothing! My favorite belongings all once belonged to my grandma marje. i like looking like a writer. i like looking artistic. i like looking happy. i feel beautiful when i am laughing,when sean kisses me , or after i have cried. or when i'm standing alone in front of the sea or a mountain. i love dresses that are girly. i like tennis shoes with dresses. i love antique earrings and jewelry. i love jewelry with meaning. i like mascara and the way it darkens eyes. i like smelling pleasant. i like embroidered headscarves. however....i do NOT like plucking my eyebrows and I will refuse to until the day i die!