as of this morning, i'm through being a girl....i mean it...i'm going to shave my head and learn how to belch...it almost seems worth it after these last 2 hours of writhing in pain on the floor....believing all of my meals from the last 4 days were going to be displayed on the bathroom tile, wondering if someone put knives inside of me during my sleep...the pain being too much to even considering walking to get some tylenol...cold chills...nauseation (word?)...and then for it to vanish...like it never even happened...as if just to say to me...Happy June, See you in 30 days....Oy!...
but i have to admit, that every time i think i'm in pain i recall counseling at Lakeside with Bridget and the image of her helpless on the floor screaming "HOT KNIVES! HOT KNIVES GOING INTO MY BACK! HOT KNIVES"
my apologies to any gentlemen who feel uncomfortable after reading this...
5 comments:
Sharon I can honestly say you have witnessed the worst cramps I ever had in my entire life. I think it was like 1000 degrees that day. No joke.
OH God bless you Sean! You've hit it right!
Sharon, I've had constipation, which I'm sure is as worse as your monthly constitutional (cue Female indignation) but shaving, every freaking morning, is enough to make me want to grow a beard. At least if you're sick of knifes run across your skin, you can wear pants. Fancy wearing pants on my chin. No, not at all. I'll take cramps for a couple days over shaving every day. Thanks for taking the man's side Sean. You're my hero.
oh please!! You may not like having blood trickle down your face or wearing toilet paper....but how would you like blood trickling down your legs, or through your skirt? What about when WE take a shower? Do you really think the blood just STOPS? And come ON...what's worse? A little toilet paper on the face for a while or a pad that feels like a DIAPER? Cramps is only a side affect. Oh yeah and then there's always the joys of having a human being RIPPED out of your body! By that I mean delivering a baby. Shaving your face everyday is peanuts compared to that. Do you want those things instead? And just like we can wear pants, you could grow a beard. It might not look half bad. :)
sheesh people, what happened to wholesome posting and commenting? i'm not sure how i feel about all this talk of constipation, blood, and nudity. i suppose i did provoke you all however.
Sean: thank you for attempting to make me feel better. however, i have trouble believing that shaving your face is worse than having cramps. naked and unconscious on the floor...maybe...but the stinging of a razor...no way...Might I point out that you voluntarily shave as well.You look great with and without facial hair, you could go either way. Cramps are not a result of a personal choice...other than the choice to remain a woman, which i'm assuming you would like for me to do. However, I admit I can't speak from personal experience, i have never shaved my face and I hope that it never becomes a neccesity in my life...what we need in order to resolve this matter is a woman who shaves her face...or a man with a funky reproduction system...eh...know any?
Galen: somehow I knew you'd end up commenting on this post...always up for controversy..thank you for informing me of your experience with constipation, i think we can now go deeper in our friendship. And while i'm glad you and Sean have bonded over this matter, i dare you to spend a day with a gynecologist (sp?) and research the differences between constipation and cramps.
Bridget: always glad to be by your side
Lilith??? is this synonymous with Janna Rose Shields?
I apologize...I am not lilith.
I am however, a woman, and I shave my face, so I've taken a GREAT deal of offence from all of this.
Excuse me, I'm off to change my pad and shave my increasingly large beard.
Chocolate anyone??
-janna
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