i didn't realize until halfway through my senior year in highschool that Americans as a whole don't think. some do, yes. but if we're honest, we can acknowledge that we're trained to not think critically. Think about that. Think about the praise that "harmless" people are given. Think about the A's you got in school by regurgitating and paraphrasing what people taught you to think. Think of what you'd wear without television, without advertising, what would you talk about? popculture's out of the question, there goes the majority of our conversation. Think about everything you've acccepted without a challenge, without asking why or how, and justifying that with an answer like you just have faith in people. Think about 12 years of sitting at a desk with your face forward and mouth open and just swallowing whatever they shove down your throat. Uggghhh yuck, it's just disguisting. Look at us. This is not a good country. This is not an ideal society, no society is, but it seems that we're the only ones stuck in this rut of pretending we are and screwing over everyone else with our superiority complex. Why do we think we're better? A bigger skull dug up in Africa? Because we plundered, made slaves of (refering to the indian-slave trade) and killed off millions of people simultaneously taking credit for everything they'd worked for? Because we manipulate and take advantage of anyone we can? I'm sorry, I don't buy it. Show me equality. Show me a hero. Show me values. I'm not finding them in this system. And i wouldn't be so frustrated right now if we could just admit that we're crappy. What I can't stand is this glorification of a non-existent land of opportunity. This is not a land of opportunity. This is a land of priveledge if you are a WASP, that's White Anglo Saxon Protestant. Yeah sure they'll throw out a few tokens like Gary Locke, Oprah or MLKJ, and say "look you too can be anything is this country" Look at our presidents for pete sake: (i just learned this today and this is paraphrased) 40% of our presidents hailed from the upper fringes of the upper class, 15% upper to uppermiddle class, 25% from solid upper-middle to middle, and six presidents of middle to lower middle and that leaves 1 president from the lower class! That's crap. I feel like I could spend the rest of my life apologizing for the actions of my ancestors. What's worse is people are afraid to talk about class, rank, heirarchy. Too many eggshells, too many sensitive areas. So what? ignore how we size people up and then label ourselves the ideal middle-class society. That's right, play it safe, ride the middle, in some cases that's good, but don't use it because you're afraid of the truth. That's what they want us to be! indifferent! they don't want us to challenge, question, or oppose their carefully created cycle that enables them to remain on top. teach the people that they can't be taught.This is the point where i wish i knew more about politics. This is when i wish i knew more facts so i wouldn't have to just rant and rave about the little i know and the less i know after all of my biases disregard much of what i say,and complain until this stirring settles for the night. (quick inhale...continue)
i am so frustrated that i struggle in separating what i have come to believe on my own and what i have been fed. i remember, after finishing "The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar" for the first time realizing that being poor didn't mean I had to be dumb. Before that I honestly felt that I would never be smart. That's what society taught me. That's what they fed me. That if you don't live in the right neighborhood then don't worry about college, or good grades it's ok because you're not expected to get that far. But I had a sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Salter, and she knew I was sentencing myself to a life that accepted not being good enough. And I would go to her house and she bought me "A Wrinkle in Time" and paid for me to go spacecamp in Florida. Have you ever come to a point in life when you decided you weren't good enough? Do you understand what that feels like? It is a memory to me now. A brief period in my life and it still hurts. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like for people who face that pain every day of their lives. and you can pretend all you want that you don't look at people differently when they're poor or muslim,or pretend that african american males don't hear cars lock and purses being clutched as they walk by you at night and maybe you don't physically respond, but people still know when you think you're better than them, or have an advantage over them. so does this cycle ever end? is there any progress other than the rich becoming richer? will we change the way we educate? will we change the way we learn? Will the eurocentric reign in America see it's demise? blah blah blah. how do people dedicate their lives to these causes without ulcers? so i guess i'm tired now. this post is not to inform you. you know this. this is not to give birth to a debate, i know i am flawed in the way i think, i know i am biased, i know there is more i need to know. i don't want applause for the way i think. i don't want criticism (although criticism is needed always). but tonight i didn't sit and write an outline to impress you with my knowledge of our ignorance or to prove anything to anyone. and i don't think i'm an exception from the average american. as much as i hate the system, i uphold it, and i wish that weren't the case. it's just another question mark. it's just another night to vent. just something else i'll focus on to take the focus off of what i'm doing that kills others. just being honest. just do me a favor... teach your children to think critically.