most mornings begin with a bike ride. a downhill waker-upper to start my 4am mornings and kickstart the hours i will spend perfecting foam leaves in my concoctions (spell on that?). i try to keep life simple. i have to keep it simple, it's the only way to survive the messy complicated circumstances that have invaded my every day. so i eat banana bread and drink iced tea with lemon wedges. i read books such as The Silmarillion and sit in awe of the possibilities a creative mind possesses, i read The Four Loves and find it easier to smile at the people who's paths have crossed with mine. I try to not let things upset, discourage, or anger me and instead watch the sun turn to red or smell the seaweed in the air. i sleep on the sand or walk barefoot on the driveway. i water plants and wear a lot of green and turquoise. i admire my bestfriend who can put together three bar stools and cook dinner in the time that i can put together one dining room chair. i smile when i think about a girl i know who has the heart of a 12 year old girl, drives a camaro, wears pink, and eats kettle korn with every meal.i love all of the people i have known in my life, who have added so much to my heart, completely unaware. so many beautiful things are invisible. i regret, i miss, i love, i am heartbroken i am searching and i am living such a wonderful life. i am sorting things out. changing but remaining, growing and minimizing, searching for great things on the narrow road and all the while i am sitting here trying to express something so real, it's unexplainable. is it a process? a dance? perhaps. so i'll lay in bed tonight while children ride bikes past my window and will sleep in the shape of a question mark. peacefully. i'll wake again tomorrow and still won't be able to define this feeling of living. this excitement over simpleness and the ability to be.