cleaned hair. played with children. talked about trauma. talked about Job, the guy not employment. drank green tea and ate marionberry muffin. napped. vaccuumed jeep. "home alone" and ate too much andes cool mint icecream with mary by the way. 9 more days till freedom. where will i go. what will i become? brazil london sierra leone new york california italy all i need is someone or maybe i just need to be someone to go alone or find maybe to go alone i'll find someone me meet me away all alone. too much to do. too much nothing to do. too much driving and busy-ing and paying worrying and running and running and running and stop to breathe and sleep play backgammon make taffy while laughy oh i want to be you star on my tree. my fingers taste like oranges and i haven't kissed someone for a year and a half and i won't unless they're worth oranges and candy canes and cold stars and cobblestone. and i want to run away with someone i don't know and write all day about a man who's on the other side of the window. and play the picallo yes the picallo. i don't know how to spell picallo. play anything, play instruments play trees play flying play love play hide and seek play lava and snowman or jesus and santa just believe and don't stop and don't let the dreamstealers find you and look not in their eyes when they say stand straight and use commas. just bleed and believe when you breathe... it's unbelieveable.