gossip:1 a dialect British : GODPARENT b : COMPANION, CRONY c : a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts about others
2 a : rumor or report of an intimate nature b : a chatty talk c : the subject matter of gossip


i was wondering, just now, about gossip and why it takes such will power to resist it. what draws us to comment on, analyze, judge and condemn others?

perhaps gossip is seemingly innocent; and so, we neglect to think of it as dangerous. But therein lies the ultimate danger: the abscence of immediate damage. In most cases of cruelty, we experience and see the results of our actions right away...if we are violent, we see blood, bruises, cuts, scrapes, the works. if we are directly and deliberately hurtful with our words to another's face, we see the reaction, the hurt, etc. etc. is gossip's hold on us, the fact that we don't neccesarily have to take part in it's aftermath? or so we think? It may take an hour, it may take years before our words reach the one/s we have slandered; but regardles of the time, when they do, they will be received with anything but joy. i'm yet to meet someone who, upon hearing of harsh words spoken of them, rejoices. we can almost be certain that the fruits of gossip, when revealed, are intense degrees of sorrow, shame, hate, rage, dissapointment and mistrust. Simple, effortless words that can destroy relationships, shatter smiles and bruise hearts.

We know gossip is easy for us, we know that somewhere along the way we foolishly accepted the lie that to judge another with our words is harmless and that we would get away with it. who gossips in hope that their cruelty will be revealed? if anyone does so, the motives of their heart are beyond my comprehension and i pity their soul.

i'd guess the majority of us are aware that eventually, gossip creates negativity in our own lives as well as others. And yet, we continue to do it. why? if we know it's hurtful, and to stop means simply keeping our mouths shut, then why is it so difficult to refrain? here's what i'm thinking:

by nature, we are selfish. i beleive that the only thing saving us from our selfishness is a divine grace, that we will never fully understand. daily, we, i ,struggle with the battle of doing the right thing, dying to ourselves, stepping outside of my self to realize that i am not the most important person in my proximity. as much as i want to believe the world orbits my brunette head, i am faced with the truth, in moments of revelation, that it indeed, does not. when i think about that, i am blessed, i'm more happy to be part of a greater purpose that involves the entire world and not just me,blessed to know that the man with gaged ears supporting his greasy pony tail that dangles down the back of his worn-tie-dyed shirt is equally as important as me in the grand painting that is being completed. what does our selfish nature have to do the gossip-disease? in my opinion...everything.

i recall learning at an early age( whether i realized it on my own, or was told by someone else i cannot remember) that the only reason people "talk bad" about others is to "feel better about themselves". true. let's go deeper...why does trashing someones soul to another, often without reason, make us feel good? shouldn't we cringe when sharing negative information about loved ones? why do we experience pleasure?
i think part of the answer is this: by gossiping, we immediately establish a higher importance...."hear what i have to say about other peoples problems and defects, because i am such a great person that i would never have such things in my life, come hear how wretched she is so that you can realize how wonderful i am and we can be glad, together, that we're not like her"...
it's ridiculous. we willingly expose the weak points of those we know and simultaneously are deathly afraid that others will learn of ours. it's a defense mechanism almost. perhaps we believe that as long as the spotlight is on another, we're safe.

so we ruin our friendships to feel important and better than our friends. or worse, people we haven't even taken the time to know.i won't even get into christians gossiping. To gossip is to judge, it's to be selfish, it is to be anything but gracious and understanding, there's no way around it, there's no excuse. I hate it. i hate that it has tricked me in the past and that it will trick me in the future. thankfully there are days like these, that i realize how awful my past actions have been and hopefully writing these thougths out will make me more accountable to what i say about others. and maybe it'll make others think more carefully about why it is they speak cruel words into existence, when a simple silence, or kind word instead could make a huge impact.